What are some things that can damage a marriage
By: The John Ankerberg Show
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|Though the sexual needs for women are far different from men’s, they may be more dangerous. When does an affair begin? How can you guard your mind, heart, and body against sexual and emotional compromise? How do the media, novels, music, fashions, Internet chat rooms, and body and beauty obsessions influence young women?
Copyright: 2007, Number of Programs: 4, Cat. No. CFW
Keywords: Fantasy, Dictatorial attitude
- Arterburn: Well, I certainly wasn’t able to offer total devotion and commitment of every part of me. My body wasn’t going to go have sex with somebody else, but my mind certainly was going to continue to. And I really didn’t know what full commitment was all about. I lacked character. But the other thing that I brought into the marriage was disconnection; I was disconnected with other men. My grandfather was a very disconnected man and my father was a wonderful Christian man, but really never got this connection piece to teach us. And so there was just a built-in disconnection from the very beginning.
- And so I, like Fred ended up, and we write about this in our book, trampling on my wife. And so many men under the guise of submission will trample on their wives. They take a piece of truth and they use it in a very untruthful way. And the only way that you can talk about a women’s need to submit to a man is in a truthful way in a context of mutual submission where she is submitting to him but he is dying to himself, giving up his life for her, and wanting her to live the life that she can live. Now if he is dying for her and she is submitting to him, there is a mutuality that makes that work. It is very fair and it really is a great way to run a marriage.
- But if you just have that one sided piece which I did, I came from that construct of women submit to men. Now you know, if you are walking around the house telling your wife what to do and ordering her around and she is the doormat and you are the dictator, you know, I don’t know a lot of women that just crave having sex with the guy that is doing that. And it totally turns her into that walled off, brittle woman. And her heart begins to die. And it is when a man finally can see himself, see what he is to her, what he is doing, and many times under the guise of biblical principle he believes he is living out the truth, but he isn’t. When he starts to see it, that to me is the beginning of change in that marriage.