Is it true that women don’t struggle with sexual temptations like men do
By: The John Ankerberg Show
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|How can a man or woman live pure in the real world of temptation? What is God’s standard for Christians? From television programs to the Internet, books to movies, commercials to billboards, men are constantly assaulted and with sensual images. They are impossible to avoid, but possible to rise above.
Copyright: 2007, Number of Programs: 4, Cat. No. CFM
Keywords: Molestation, Flirting
- Ankerberg: Shannon, a lot of women think, “Well, you know, the things that you have been talking about, the guys, we don’t have those kinds of sexual problems. We don’t have problems with sexual integrity.” But you say, hey, that’s kind of a myth. Tell me why.
- Ethridge: Absolutely that’s a myth. So often women come up to me and they say, “My story directly correlates with your own.” And how they arrive at that is I tell them, you know, when I was 12 years old, if someone had asked me if I wanted to be a virgin when I married, I would have said, well of course so! Well, when I was 13, that answer would have changed to I think so; when I was 14, I would have said, well, maybe. But when I was 15, my response to that question would have been, I don’t see how that is possible.” Several things happened during that season of my life from 12-15. My father and my brother had been very emotionally distanced from me for years because of the death of my sister. And then when I developed breasts and hips and started to get guys attention, my uncles proceeded to teach me that if I really wanted attention and affection from men, I could get it if I was willing to play their little games; games like, well, how far have you gone with a boy? And how far would you let me go? Can I touch you here or here? And let’s just keep this our little secret, because your parents would never understand our special love for each other. And I never told my parents because I actually thought I would be the one to get in trouble; because I actually liked the attention, and I felt as if the flirting gave me a sense of power that I had never experienced before. And I always thought that that didn’t affect me, because I didn’t let them have sex with them. But it taught me to use that flirtation as a way to get guy’s attention. And I flirted my way into a corner when I was 14 with an 18 year old boy who had a lot more than just flirting on his mind. And when he kind of backed me into the corner and expected me to have sex with him, I did what so many women in this country and all over the world do; I just silently and passively allowed myself to be date raped. I remember thinking in my mind, “Well, I don’t want him to think that I am a tease,” so I just decided to be a slut instead; and I had been called that at school anyway, so I was just living up to the label. And so I actually had hopes that he would call the next day and that we would become boy friend and girl friend and maybe get married and have kids someday. Well, of course I never heard from him. And so, again, feeling very rejected. And then when my parents allowed me to start dating at 15 – which in hindsight was way too young – I felt that sex must be the price that I have to pay to get the attention and affection that I want. And from the ages of 15 until 20 years old my life was basically just one sexual relationship after another. I am not proud of that fact but that’s how it happened. And I got my big wake up call at 20 in, of all places, the funeral home. I was in mortuary college and learning how to embalm bodies, and I expected to be embalming people who were in their 80’s and 90’s who just died of natural causes. But I was stunned at how many people I was embalming that died in their 20’s or early 30’s because of full blown AIDS, or because they committed suicide because of a positive HIV diagnosis. And I remember standing over the embalming table thinking, there but for the grace of God go I. And I was just thankful that God got my attention. I went running back to the church – I had grown up a Christian but had fallen away from that lifestyle as a college student and just was asking God, “Please show me how I can turn my life around.” It wasn’t an immediate thing; it was a long drawn out process, but it was a start.