Are men and women wired differently sexually | John Ankerberg Show

Are men and women wired differently sexually

By: The John Ankerberg Show
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Though the sexual needs for women are far different from men’s, they may be more dangerous. When does an affair begin? How can you guard your mind, heart, and body against sexual and emotional compromise? How do the media, novels, music, fashions, Internet chat rooms, and body and beauty obsessions influence young women? 
Copyright: 2007, Number of Programs: 4, Cat. No. CFW

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Keywords: Emotional connection, Sexual needs

Clip Transcript:

Ankerberg: Fred, do you talk about the fact that there came a spot where you said, “Okay, I’m going to do anything.” There might be guys listening who say, “I understand what you are saying, but I am not going to do it.” If they don’t do it, if they don’t start to follow these principles and so on, there is a price for them to pay in a whole bunch of areas that they might not be familiar with. Number one is you said you paid a price spiritually, what was that?
Stoeker: Well, spiritually it was that I wasn’t obeying God in how I was to lead in my marriage. Or sexually either, where I was masturbating, looking at all the women in their lingerie, all those things. So the reason I wasn’t connecting there was because I said I was one thing and I wasn’t.
Ankerberg: And you had a real distance from God.
Stoeker: Absolutely. It grew and grew.
Ankerberg: There was a price that paid with your wife.
Stoeker: Ah yeah. You know, I just couldn’t give my whole self to her because I wasn’t sure at that point whether the marriage was going to last. I knew if that marriage collapsed it was going to break my heart. And I didn’t want to have her have 100% of who I was, because in that day I would be a pile of dust. So I kept some of myself back.
Ankerberg: You said your church was paying a price.
Stoeker: Yes. I would be masturbating every Sunday morning before I would go to church, to lingerie ad inserts. When I would get there, I couldn’t pray for anybody, they had to pray for me. I mean, I was the one that was needy every time I went there. I was an empty suit.
Ankerberg: You said, “My children might have had to pay a price.”
Stoeker: Yes. You know, my grandfathers, my dad, me, we were all hooked on porn. And it was at that point when I was looking into my son’s eyes, knowing that if I didn’t find a way to win myself, I could never teach him to win. And what I was afraid of was that I was going to pass down my sexual habits to my sons and even to my daughters. And as that would happen, I knew how disconnecting that was, too. And I knew our relationships would be weak.
Ankerberg: Now, you finally made a decision and you thought, “Okay, I made that decision, and it should be easy to get that sexual junk out of my mind and clear up my marriage.” But it wasn’t easy; there was a price to be paid.
Stoeker: Well, the reason why I thought it would be easy was because I had dumped the porn earlier, when I got married. But at the time I thought I had actually done something, but I really hadn’t. I just changed the pictures of what I was looking at from Playboy to lingerie ads. I just thought I could dump all that, too. But what happened was in this case I started to have to decide to dump everything. Then I was actually dealing with my addiction, and I was dealing with those pleasures that it would always give. And it put me in a position where it was a much bigger problem than what I thought it was.

The John Ankerberg Show

The John Ankerberg Show

Founder and president of The John Ankerberg Show, the most-watched Christian worldview show in America.
The John Ankerberg Show
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